Today my beautiful 8 year old, Seb reminded me to write a note to his friends mum, to try and organise a playdate in the upcoming school holidays. He and this boy are great mates, they have been in the same class for three years now and they nag me after school each day to organise a playdate. I told them I would write a note to Bobs* (name changed obviously) mum with my phone number asking her to contact me to arrange a playdate for the boys.

I wrote the note and popped it in Sebby's bag and he said "Bob told me I wasn't allowed to come to his birthday party, his mum said I can't because I am a bad kid"

I said "what?" and he repeated again word for word what was said.

My heart shattered into a million pieces.

Sebastian and this boy have never been in trouble together, he has never had an incident with him. They are loud, silly boys, who I often tell to stop saying the word penis over and over.

Yes my child makes silly decisions at times and sometimes gets into trouble but he is EIGHT years old. He is far from a BAD child. Call me a bad mum if you have a problem with my kid, don't call an 8 year old a bad child. There is no such thing.

Where others see a kid who is rough, impulsive, swears at times, gets frustrated and make the call he is a BAD human being.

What they don't see is a child who every single day, makes me park in the same spot at the school, where there is a random cat that responds to him and runs to him for a cuddle every morning.

What they don't see is the way he is so protective of his family and friends.

The first thing he does when he wakes up is say I love you to everyone in our family, including the dogs and cats!

He talks about wanting to become rich so he can buy homes for people who don't have any. Whereas his sister says it would be great because she could buy whatever she wanted.

There is a child from school that he invites to his party every year because no one else invites this little boy to their birthdays.

He is deep and kind and has a much bigger heart than anyone I know.

I wish people would be careful what they say, because all the work we are doing to build up our boy, and all the progress he is working so hard to make can be brought undone by harsh and bullshit words.

The saddest part? My son wasn't even hurt by these words, this is normal for him, and he has the belief in himself that he must be a bad kid.

Do you know that by the time an ADHD child is 12 they will have received 20,000 more negative comments than a child without ADHD. How's that for his self esteem?

Despite our efforts too constantly lift him up, to encourage him to see the kind, beautiful boy that we see. But he is not immune to the judgemental stares in the playground. He hears the rude comments made by other parents.

If anything is "bad" its your bullshit attitude.

From the moment my son was born, we were in awe of his curiosity and his determination. Although he was only days old he seemed wise, and curious, he held his neck up for silly amounts of time and he was always really watching what was going on around him.

As he began to move around, the mischief began. He was constantly up on the furniture, climbing the doors, stealing food from the fridge, flushing important items down the toilet. We spent a small fortune on baby proof locks, which he would work out before we did, or he would just use sheer strength to rip them off at a mere 16 months old. When he wanted something, he was unbeatable.

I remember once he was trying to take breakable items out of the cupboard, I locked the cupboard door and took away the key. Next minute he had pushed a toy firetruck over to the bench, climbed on the toy firetruck to get a screwdriver, and then was using the screwdriver to pick the lock. He was not even two.

We also had our share of troubles, when it come to sleep training. No "normal" methods seemed to work and we went off to sleep school. This worked for a little while but it was long before we were having trouble again. We enlisted the help of a private sleep nanny who after 4 days put her hand up and said " I cant help you there is anything left to suggest"

Basically we knew our child was full on, but we didn't realise he was different until he started kinder..

When kinder came, we had a teacher whom was quite highly strung, she often made comments about Sebastian play fighting or not sitting still. One day she told me she was horrified that he was saying the word P-O-O (yes she spelt it, didn't say it) over and over. We thought she was just not suited to our child and didn't read too much into this.

When it came to starting prep, we realised quickly that our child was behaving in a different way than the other kids. He would hide under shelves, or pull his hood over his face, he didn't want to go to school, but we thought he would settle in just fine.

3 months in, his teacher mentioned that he was behind the other children academically. We were shocked, this child had always flown through his milestones, and outsmarted me on the daily, but he was struggling at school? How? His teacher mentioned we should see a paediatrician. After a series of confronting surveys about his behaviour, completed by us and the school. It was confirmed our child had ADHD.

My child had ADHD. This was a hard pill to swallow, I didn't really even know that ADHD existed. Wasn't that just an excuse for naughty children? Were we just terrible parents who were too soft on our child?

At the same time there was a glimmer of hope in the diagnosis, because I was suddenly googling "How to discipline an ADHD chid" Rather than "why is my kid acting like an asshole?"

The months that followed were so incredibly hard, we tried diet modification, essential oils, vitamin supplements, added exercise and even renovated his room to a more calming environment. Nothing worked so we started medication. This was life changing for our child at school, and honestly the sole reason he is able to read and write.

There has been side effects and much trial and error to get the right dosage of medication but I'll save that for another time.

There have been many public outings where comments have been made by random onlookers. Just recently I forked out $380 to take our family to the "School of Rock" musical. We armed ourselves with our arsenal of things to get us through, we also allowed our son to bring his ipad, when he gets overwhelmed we find the ipad works wonders to distract him for all of the overwhelming things going on around him. Part way through the show, my son became antsy, he was struggling to sit still, i was feeling very calm and assisting him to remain focused and allow his sister to enjoy the show. We ended up letting him sit on the floor in the back row of the theatre with his ipad on silent. Staff advised us that he was not allowed to do this. We ended up trying for a little longer. then leaving the show. To which I heard an older lady beside me say "That child wouldn't behave that way if his mother wasn't so lazy"

I told my husband on the train ride home and he was shocked that I hadn't reacted. Normally I would get very defensive or my parenting and school this person on how hard it is to be an ADHD parent. But not long before this I had begun to realise that I don't need to explain my son to anyone. I don't need to tell strangers than I am struggling because being an ADHD parent is hard. My son doesn't need to hear me saying that he is hard to parent. ADHD kids get so many more negative comments on a daily basis, "stop that" "don't do that" "sit still" etc.

I need to advocate for my child first and foremost and what others think of me along the way is not important. It's taken me a long time to realise this, maybe because deep down I thought I was not good enough or doing something wrong.

I've lost friendships because people don't understand, in that I've also had some amazing supportive friends who remind me that I'm doing great. I am forever thankful for those.

His ADHD is not a reflection of me as a parent, but the way I help him deal with his ADHD certainly IS. The morals I i instil in my child are a reflection of my parenting. The way I work tirelessly for solutions and strategies to help him is a reflection of my parenting. The way that I "deal" with his behaviour in your eyes, is not.

He doesn't fit in your box and neither will I.

I am not perfect, I have days where positive redirection is replaced with yelling and frustration. I have anxiety attacks wondering if my child will turn out ok. But I have realised if I keep the focus of each interaction, on him and what he needs from me, rather than what random people think of my reactions to his behaviour, then their reactions become a moot point.

I've accepted my child is different, but he is also absolutely amazing. My focus is helping him through these situations, not ensuring you think I am a good parent.

Your opinion on my parenting truly, finally doesn't matter and that is freeing as fuck.

** I use "you" is a descriptive word for the random people who cast judgement. No one in particular.

Tiffany and Nathan were married in the charming, rustic grounds of Eynesbury Homestead.

Nathan and Tiffany's love story began many years ago, when Nathan was a cute little skater boy, and Tiffany was sweet and innocent teenager. Nathan asked for her number and sent her a text saying "hey!" Which was the beginning of a beautiful relationship, which soon grew into a love story.

They have now been together for nearly 9 years and are so lucky to have found their perfect match so early on in their lives.

Tiffany looked radiant and so happy, the love they share is obvious to all and it was such a pleasure to be their celebrant.

They share a love of camping, simply relaxing in nature and the peace and quiet it brings. So the serene, natural feel of Eynesbury Homestead suited them just perfectly.

As soon as I pronounced them husband and wife, and cockatoo squawked in congratulations, as if right on cue!

Scroll down for more images and vendor details:

They held their ceremony in the gardens, and the reception in a gorgeous marquee.

Inside the marquee - captured by DJ Peter D

Love Light Letters provided by Dream Ceremony Decor

When the celebrant is hilarious!

The Bride and Groom having a ball in the photobooth

DJ & Mc: DJ Peterd Entertainment

Love Light Letters: Dream Ceremony Decor

Professional images: Precise Moments Photography

Photobooth: Wooshka Photobooths

Celebrant: Janelle Bridge

Venue: Eynesbury Homestead

Most couples I meet with are initially very overwhelmed by the thought of writing their own vows! But I'm pleased to tell you that it is so much easier than you think!

There is a legal requirement that must be included and that is simply the following sentence:

"In the presence of these witnesses, I (full name) take you (full name) as my wedding wife/husband"

Other than that, your vows are simply your promises to each other and they should be the things that are most important to you.

So to start with - have a think about what marriage means to you. Jot down the words that come to mind, for me its "loyalty, trust, commitment , laughter, memories, family and love"

Is it supporting each other through the good and the bad, becoming a family, creating a family? There is no wrong answer!

Here are some more suggestions to help get you started:

You are .........

the love of my lifemy best friendmy soulmatethe light of my lifemy partner for lifemy one true lovemy angelthe beautiful mother of my childrenthe most amazing woman

I want to ......

start a family with youtravel the world togethercare for you and share my life with you. grow old with youenjoy each and every day together.experience life together

I will .....

support your hopesrespect your needs do my best to provide comfort and security in our life together.be a loving husband.respect you and care for you grow with you and grow old with you, loving you more every day of my lifebe faithful to you respect and love youlaugh with youcry with youcherish you always.stand by you, through whatever may comelove, trust and cherish you

I promise to ..........

care for you alwayssupport you in all that you do, help you in all that you needshare with you in all that you experience encourage you in all that you try. love you in all that you are.always love you, through happy and hard times, completely and forevercherish you and nurture our relationshiplove you faithfully through the best and the worst. give myself to you in every way always be there for you. place our marriage above all else. be loyal to these words as long as we both shall live. commit myself totally to you, encompassing all sorrows and joys that lie aheadstrive for a happy, loving life for both of usto give you the best of myself, and to ask no more than you can giveto be faithful to you, to keep myself open to youto grow along with you’

I am so thankful

that I found youfor all that you do for mefor what we haveof the way you look after me

I love.....

the way you look after me/ and our familyyour beautiful eyesthe way you support meyour stunning smilebeing silly togethereverything about youthe way you can make me laugh

Pop all of these together and you have a personalised vow that flows nicely.

Don't be afraid to throw in some jokes and personality!

Have fun and enjoy the process.

Congratulations! I hope your wedding day was all you dreamed of and more.

So now the wedding is over, you're probably pretty excited to change your name right?

One of the most common questions I get asked is "How do I change my name?" So I've compiled some information to help explain the process.

So on your wedding day we sign 3 certificates:

One is given to you and is your copy to keep. One is my copy, which I keep on file for my recordsOne is sent to Births, Deaths and Marriages for them to finalise the registration of your marriage. Lets call this your“registered certificate”

Your celebrant will then submit the marriage details online and forward your signed certificate along with the Notice of Intent and Declaration of Marriage to Births, Deaths and Marriages for them to finalise the marriage registration.

The certificate given to you on the day is a legal document and can be used a proof of your marriage. However, if you are wanting to change your name, you will need to apply for a copy of the “registered marriage certificate” (the one that I have sent to Births, Deaths and Marriages to register your marriage)

Please note that although many places now accept the certificate given to you on your wedding day, some organisations will request the “registered” copy. For example Vicroads.

You can apply for your registered copy by clicking here

To make things as easy as possible for you I have compiled some simple steps to help you with the change of name process.

Apply for your registered marriage certificate, through Births, Deaths and Marriages. I have enclosed a completed form to help you do so. You can also apply on line if your prefer.

Once you receive your registered certificate, use that at Vicroads to change your drivers license.

Once you have your drivers license in your new name, all the other changes should be fairly easy. Some places may only require a phone call, others may ask for a copy of your marriage certificate.

Vicroads (Drivers license)Medicare CardBank/Financial institutionsInsurances (car, home, personal)SuperannuationUtility Bills (electricity, gas, water etc)PassportAustralian Tax OfficeElectoral RollAmbulance MembershipYour workplaceGym or Club MembershipsCentrelink – if applicable.FACEBOOK!!! ☺

HINT/TIP - When you receive the registered copy of your marriage certificate from Births, Deaths and Marriages – It is super handy to get a copy of this certificate certified at your local police station. Then keep the certified copy in your wallet for a while. Comes in very handy when you realise you haven’t changed your name somewhere and the name they have on file no longer matches your ID! You then simply show them the certificate and they can update the changes on the spot.

Now Im not going to harp on about why you should blog, there is so much information out there about WHY you should do it. Putting it into place is another story.

I was always going to seminars and hearing "start blogging" "write blogs" "blog to increase your web presence"

About what exactly? I was working as a celebrant and was completely booked up, I didn't want anymore weddings, I couldn't facilitate them. We had sold our decor company, so I couldn't blog about that and were building our booth hire company.

What could I write about? Photo booths?

I knew the value of blogging but I just didn't know how to put it all into place.

I decided to just do it and after the first few initial blogs on bland topics such as “What You Should Look For in a Photo Booth Company?’ and “Why You Need a Photo Booth at Your Wedding Reception” We were getting bored and lets face it, our blogs were boring! So we needed to think outside the square.

Think outside the square!

I saw an event coming up with popular mum blogger and business woman Sophie Cachia and Abby Gilmore. I offered a free photo booth for the event. They accepted and I went along to the event, had an absolute ball - then I blogged all about it.

Shared .it on social media and was overwhelmed when Sophie herself shared my blog, resulting in 22,0000 visits to our website.

A snapshot from our Google Analytics when Sophie shared the blog!

You can read it here:

https://www.wooshkaphotobooths.com.au/single-post/sophiacachiandabbygilmore

This really opened our minds to the possibilities of what we can blog about and we now aim to write across a variety of topics not just standard Photo Booth information.

Our business falls within the events industry, so we can focus on things such as:

WeddingsPartiesFunctionsVenuesCake makersDecor for partiesExperiencesAn event you're at

Look for events that may be interesting to your and your clients, go and blog about it!

Write a list of all the crazy possibilities you can write about and go for it, it doesn't need to be DIRECTLY related to what you do!

Especially if you run an entertainment type business, go for it, blog about fun things!

Everyone has information they can share, are you a mum running a business? Blog about how you manage your time! Blog about your story about how your business came about.

Make it personal.

People love stories and they love it when you share you story.

Don’t hang out your inappropriate dirty laundry but share some of your genuine thoughts, struggles, challenges - be relatable.

Write about your business knowledge - to share with others in your industry!

When writing blogs, so many people get stuck on writing blogs for their customers only, who else can you share information with? People who do what you do! I’m not saying give away all your tips and tricks, that would be dumb, but share information where you can, and drive people to your website in the process.

We write blogs about the “Booth Biz” for other booth owners to read and learn from, then we share these in the Facebook groups for Photo Booth owners.

Include other businesses in your content and tag them.

If you're blog contains another business such as a unicorn hire at a fourth birthday party. Tag the business when you’re sharing on social media. Increase engagement by doing this as they may share themselves, and you’re contributing to building a relationship with these other businesses.

Our blogging has increased our search engine optimisation significantly and allowed us to rank on the first page of Google for both Melbourne and Geelong, which has gained us so much more business. It has also helped gained us trust and respect as the authority in our field.

Check out Source Bottle for inspiration

Sometimes I get stuck on what to write about, so I peruse sourcebottle.com to see what they are looking for and use their topics as inspiration for my own blogs. Sometimes I submit my content to them and if its not picked up, I publish this myself. If you're not on the source, get on it now.

Share the love.

As mentioned above, we share our “Booth Biz” blogs to other booth business owners, via Facebook groups, linked in, etc. Think about where you can share yours? Where does it make sense?

Are you blogging about weddings? Could you share to a wedding group? A wedding website may even publish your content.

Just do it!

Blogs that are full of great informative content show you know your field and you’re passionate about it. Well written blogs build trust for the clients, promote you as the chosen authority in your field and drive traffic to your website! Which in-turn makes selling your services so much easer.

The more you do it the easier it becomes! Just go for it.

- J x

Janelle Bridge

Entrenpreneur

Celebrant

Owner of Wooshka Photbooths

This weekend has been absolutely horrible. I should have known it was coming, after the school holidays which consisted of zero child free time and Dan away working on a large booth hire job. During this time we also had an influx of bookings and adding yet another booth to our realm. Not to mention, it's also the beginning of wedding season and the busiest period of the year for me as a celebrant. I feel like I have been muddling through the best I can with two children needing my attention, and my brain simply kicking into survival mode. So this weekend, I made an error in the scheduling of not one, but two booth hires. We also had a couple of stressful staff mistakes and a confused client who booked the wrong hire time. Resulting in the phone ringing non stop, clarifications, apologies, reschedulings and reallocating staff and getting the job done no matter what. The boys played a double gig weekend and I had a wedding to officiate- on top of you know, just 20 booth hires. After melting down today, I got in the shower to wash off the looming anxiety attack, that's been hovering over my head for a while.

All I wanted to do was close the curtains and crawl into bed. But the sun was shining outside and I knew that the vitamin D would probably help to calm my mind. So I made myself a bed on the back deck and lay down to sulk. 30 seconds later I felt four little hands on my hand, giving me a back massage, and the thud of a 30kg Labrador lying down beside me.

My gosh, kids can be tough but they also never allow me to give up, even when I really want to. I their eyes I am a superhero, even when in my own eyes I am complete failure. From here I plan on cleaning up my diet and upping my exercise to get my mind right.

We will then review our processes and continue on to improve our business practises to ensure this never happens again.

With the help of these two smiling faces I will get on top of this shitty, poor me attitude and come out on top and smarter than before.

PS Anxiety is an asshole

Over the past seven years, I have been lucky enough to forge a career celebrating love. Officiating marriage - the highest level of commitment that a couple make within their relationship, and what an honour it's been.

I have done many same-sex commitment ceremonies, and each of these have been beautiful and so heartfelt, but they have also left me feeling a little flat, because at the end of the day, it was a gorgeous celebration of love, without the legal recognition. Which is simply, completely unfair.

There was no difference in the way my same sex couples looked into their partners eyes, there was no difference in the beautiful vows they spoke, there was no difference in their levels of excitement for what their future together holds. Yet theres is a vast difference on how their relationship is recognised.

As I celebrant we must say the following words at every marriage we formalise:

" I Janelle Bridge, am duly authorised by law, to solemnise marriages according to law. Before you are joined in marriage, in my presence and the presence of these witnesses. I am to remind you of the solemn and binding nature of the relationship into which you are now about to enter. Marriage in Australia, is the union of a man and a woman, to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life"

Imagine standing, in front of a group of 80 - 100 guests, talking about marriage and how any man and woman can get married, but you in the back, with your same sex partner of 30 years, you cant mate! Sorry.

Its an awful feeling, and it excludes people at a celebration of love and commitment.

I have tried to make this less harsh over the years, by adding in the word 'current" before law, and also adding in this line after the legal requirement. "However I look strongly believe in and look forward to marriage equality" but why should we have to.

Lets just start being fair and stop discriminating. Vote yes!

Next time you judge a parent by their child's behaviour, please stop yourself for a second and pull your head out of your own ass.

Right now, we are having an awful time with our six year old son. Focus issues at school, behavioural issues at home and school, plus a recent ADHD diagnosis, which has entailed many doctors, paediatrician and child psychologist appointments. Not to mention phone calls from the school and notes in the diary.

We are doing everything we can to try and curb his behaviour and quite frankly it's exhausting. We've renovated his room, kept a diary on potential triggers, eliminated things from his diet, supplemented with vitamins, we have even tried essential oils. Not that I should have to explain myself to you, however just so you know.

Last Friday, I took my boy to the supermarket to do the groceries. We spent forty minutes navigating the aisles of your store. Forty minutes asking him not to run, not to grab, to slow down, forty minutes negotiating what he could and couldn't add to our trolley.

When it came time to pay, I decided a cashier operated checkout would be better than the self serve as I could put more time into watching my child and less time trying to scan and bag the groceries, whilst little hands attempt to "help".

We selected your aisle and as luck would have it, we got stuck behind someone buying a mystery item that you couldn't find on the register, and had to call up assistance resulting in us waiting quite some time. During this time, my son was assisting me in unloading the trolley, with constant reminders to be gentle and slow down, the couple in front of us good-naturedly said "Make sure you load all that red food on there too for him" I laughed politely and said I didn't think he needed it. Truth be told that was also something we were eliminating from his diet.

Mr 6 asked for a small Lightning McQueen blind bag which he spotted close to the checkout, I said no and he ran off to put it back, or so I thought.

Whilst I continued unloading the trolley, unbeknown to me, he threw the item near the next customer. You said something to me, which I didn't hear, I asked "pardon" and you rolled your eyes and turned away, continuing to scan the customers groceries.

When it was finally our turn, you made a point of storming over and picking up the blind bag and throwing it on the desk with a sigh.

It was then that I realised what had happened and my heart sank, and my cheeks began to flush with embarrassment. I said "Oh my gosh did my son throw that? I'm so sorry" You replied haughtily "Don't be sorry to me! Be sorry to the person in line in front of you whom it hit!" By this stage they had left the store... by this stage my son is also dancing at the register. In my head I'm thinking "Please just scan my fucking groceries, so we can leave"

You shook your head at me, and then my son starts pushing around a trolley basket, back and forth. You say "he can't do that" . I say "I'm trying my best, we are going through a lot right now with him." and you kept shaking your head saying "He can't do that. He can't do that."

Standing on the spot. Shaking your head. Not scanning my groceries. Actively judging me.

By this stage my anxiety levels were rising and my fight or flight responses kicked in.

I pleaded with you.

"You don't understand the things we are going through. I just need to get the groceries please" You stood there, you kept talking about my child, you didn't scan the groceries.

Then I snapped. "Don't worry about these" I said taking the slab of water out of my trolley and slamming it down on the bench. "It's much too hard for me to even get groceries right now" and started walking off leaving an entire conveyor belt of food with you. Whilst you yell after me "You cannot simply leave it there!"

Your judgemental attitude meant that we left the store without our groceries. I got into my car in tears, whilst my son stated over and over that he hates himself because he can't be still long enough for me to pay for our items.

You couldn't deal with it for five minutes whilst I deal with it, all day, every single day of my life. You saw a small window of our lives and my parenting.

What you didn't see was the beautiful, compassionate, sensitive child in front of you. Struggling to come to terms with the fact that he has ADHD. Feeling different and not good enough. What you didn't see is the mum who cries in the shower every single morning, wondering if she is failing her child.

Did you know that an ADHD-afflicted child has one to two negative interactions per minute with the people in their lives. Whether than be a judgemental look, a stern no from a parent, a redirection from a teacher. Its no surprise that their self esteem suffers.

I am far from a perfect parent, but my god, I put every ounce of my being into teaching my children to be kind, compassionate humans and that is something they are mostly, getting right. Something you could learn a little more about.

So next time you see a child behaving poorly in a store, think for a moment about that parent. Think about how much they love that child, and how they are doing their best all day, every damn day.

It may not look like it to you, but it is impossible to strive for perfect parenting 24 hours a day, 7 days a week whilst still trying to maintain a home, run a business, and mundanely doing the groceries to feed their family.

Next time offer that tired mum, who feels as though she is constantly failing, a small smile, say hello to her child and please just scan the fucking groceries.