You know what comes with personal growth? Generally chaos, for me anyway. I seem to throw myself into learning and developing, and making things happen, and when you dedicate time to something, you lose time elsewhere.
Over the past few weeks, my thirst for knowledge and growth within my spiritual development has intensified. I deducted time from my house work pile and added it into my self development allotment. Add that to the kids being home for 80,874 days straight, my recent obsession with baking for the entire bloody neighbourhood and suddenly my house needed more attention than I realised.
When Saturday arrived this last weekend, I came inside from my little reading room in the garden, and was I so suddenly overwhelmed by the things I had neglected in order to spend this time developing (and cooking with the kids, home schooling and even just slothing watching Netflix....I wont lie)
I was overwhelmed by the dust collecting in every corner (old house problems). Johnny the Lab is shedding for autumn, so his hair was everywhere. My kids had their stuff absolutely everywhere and they were asking for yet more food. Suddenly, I was instantly tipped to the not remotely coping arrow on the mum life barometer. Just when I thought I couldn't be any more pissed off with my life, I opened my vanity cupboard, and my perfume fell out and smashed the brand new basin in our newly renovated bathroom.
I cried in my car for an hour, and sent snaps to my friends about how I hate my entire life.
A precious friend of mine contacted me to say that she was coming by to clean my house the next day, so we all had to leave for an hour. I responded with "No way, not happening". For some fucked up reason, I find it hard to ever be on the receiving end of any type of assistance. I will be the first person to help anyone, but me.. nah I don't accept help. I don't need it, Im fine bro.
She was adamant, even after I ignored her messages. She turned up , told us all to get out and that she would message me when she was done. It was such an uncomfortable experience for me to allow someone to come and do something that I felt was entirely my responsibility, and something I should have been on top of. Two hours later she sent us a message that it was safe to come home.
When we returned home, I actually cried. What a relief to walk in my house and be able to sit down and relax without looking around and going "oh shit, I should really clean this place"
I told Dan that I definitely wasn't cooking dinner in the now sparkling clean kitchen. My phone then dinged with a message from another friend to check my front door. There sat a delivery of home made soup, bread, chocolate and wine. Cue more tears.
I'm not sure what I have done to deserve people like this in my life, but my god I am grateful for them. The crown fixers, who don't want recognition, but deserve it.
Those who can change someone's entire mindset, just by being them.
These are just two examples of the legends in my life, and I'm grateful for every single one of them.
Be a crown fixer.
Also, I went to Bunnings and bought my little house cleaning fairy and pot and plant as a thank you gift. The pot had the words "let love grow written on it. I thought it was a cute sentiment.
I then did a random card reading on instagram. The Scarlett Temple, had posted 3 cards, I chose card three. I clicked the button to flick the card over and the card said three words. "let love grow"
If that's not a sign for me to accept some help every now and again, then I dont know what is.